Beyond the Surface: How to Handle Business Conflicts Without Jumping to Conclusions

If you have a business partner, you know it very well —running a business with a partner isn’t always smooth sailing. To be honest, it is not always easy in any relationship, but in a business partnership, it affects many aspects of your life, both personal and professional, which makes it a high priority.

Most of the time, you and your business partner are probably on the same page, sharing the same vision and goals. But then, out of nowhere, something happens. You find out your partner made a decision that really upset you, and they didn’t even bother to consult you. Ouch, right?

So, what do you do? Do you confront them? Do you stew in silence? Do you assume the worst? This is where things can get tricky. How you handle this moment can either strengthen your partnership or create a rift that’s hard to fix.

Here’s the thing: conflicts like this aren’t just about solving the immediate issue. They’re about digging deeper, understanding what’s really going on, and coming out stronger on the other side. That’s where the conflict transformation process comes in. And to really nail it, you’ve got to understand two key ideas: the difference between true and truth, and how your energy (yes, your energy) shapes the outcome.

Let’s break it down.

True vs. Truth: Why Your Perspective Isn’t the Whole Story

Here’s a hard truth (pun intended): what you believe to be true isn’t always the truth.

Think about it. Your version of “true” is shaped by your experiences, emotions, and assumptions. It feels real to you, but it’s still just one perspective. Your partner has their own version of “true,” and guess what? It’s just as valid as yours. The actual truth? That’s somewhere in the middle, and the only way to find it is to stop assuming and start listening. It gets trickier when your version of "true" is not about facts but rather involves the intent or opinion of your partner. No matter how many years you are together and how well you know them, you simply can't make that assumption. Been there (on both ends), done that way too many times to count.

For example, you might think, “They didn’t consult me because they don’t respect my input.” That feels true to you, but is it the truth? Perhaps they were under pressure and believed they were acting in the best interest of the business. Maybe they believe you knew? Maybe they sent you a message you didn't see? The trick is to accept that your “true” is subjective and be open to hearing theirs.

Why Reacting Out of Anger or Avoidance Won’t Work

When you’re upset, it’s easy to fall into one of two traps: avoiding the issue or going on the attack. Neither of these will get you the result you want.

Trap 1: Avoidance (Level One Energy)

This is when you feel helpless or overwhelmed and decide to just ignore the problem. You might think, “What’s the point? They’ll never change,” or “I don’t want to deal with this right now.” Sure, it feels easier in the moment, but all you’re doing is sweeping the issue under the rug. And guess what? That rug’s going to get lumpy real fast.

What happens? Resentment builds, communication breaks down, and the problem doesn’t go away—it just gets worse.

Trap 2: Anger and Blame (Level Two Energy)

This is when you let your frustration take over and go straight into attack mode. You might think, “How could they do this to me?” or “They don’t care about our partnership.” You’re ready to point fingers and make them see how wrong they are. But here’s the thing: when you come in hot, they’re going to get defensive. Now you’re in a full-blown argument, and nobody’s actually listening.

What happens? The conflict escalates, trust erodes, and you both walk away feeling worse.

The Game-Changer: A Level Five Mindset

So, what’s the alternative? Enter Level Five energy. This is where you stop seeing the conflict as a battle to win and start seeing it as an opportunity to grow. Instead of clinging to your version of “true,” you get curious about theirs. You focus on collaboration, empathy, and finding a solution that works for both of you.

What Level Five Looks Like:

You see your partner as a teammate, not an enemy.

You approach the situation with curiosity instead of judgment.

You focus on the bigger picture—strengthening your partnership and the business.

How to Handle the Conflict Like a Pro

Let’s go back to the scenario: your partner made a decision without consulting you, and you’re upset. Here’s how to handle it with a Level Five mindset:

Step 1: Take a Breather

Before you do anything, pause. Seriously. Take a deep breath and ask yourself:

• Am I making assumptions about their intentions?

• Could there be another explanation for what they did?

• How can I approach this in a way that strengthens our partnership?

This step is key because it helps you shift out of reactive mode and into problem-solving mode.

Step 2: Start a Conversation

Once you’ve cooled off, talk to your partner. But don’t go in guns blazing. Instead, approach the conversation with curiosity and a willingness to listen. Try saying something like:

“I felt upset when I found out about this decision because I value collaboration. Can you help me understand what led to it?”

or

“I want to make sure we’re on the same page moving forward. Can we talk about how we handle decisions like this?”

By framing the conversation this way, you’re inviting them to share their perspective instead of putting them on the defensive.

Step 3: Find a Solution Together

Now that you’ve both shared your sides, it’s time to collaborate. How can you prevent this from happening again? Maybe you set up a system for decision-making or schedule regular check-ins to stay aligned. You may revisit your core values and purpose, making sure you are on the same page. Whatever it is, focus on solutions that work for both of you.

Why This Works

A Level Five approach works because it:

Builds trust: When you show empathy and curiosity, your partner feels heard and respected.

Defuses tension: Instead of blaming each other, you’re working together to solve the problem.

Strengthens the partnership: By focusing on the bigger picture, you come out of the conflict stronger than before.

And most importantly, it helps you uncover the truth—not just your version of it, but theirs too.

Final Thoughts: See Beyond Your “True”

Conflicts are going to happen—it’s just part of being in a partnership. The key is how you handle them. If you cling to your version of “true” and act out of anger or avoidance, you’re only going to make things worse. But if you approach the situation with curiosity, empathy, and a willingness to collaborate, you can turn it into an opportunity to grow.

In this post, I touched on several concepts that I work on with my clients:

• The energy level model and how elevating yours and the team's energy can affect your business's growth

• Assumptions, interpretations, and other energy blockers - how to identify and address them

• True vs. truth - how non-judgment can build trust

• Conflict transformation - how to convert a conflict into an opportunity for growth.

Have you ever faced a conflict with a business partner or someone close to you? How did you handle it? Do you agree with the idea of true vs. truth, or have you tried using a Level Five mindset in your own life? I’d love to hear your thoughts, experiences, and even your questions! Drop a comment below and let’s start a conversation. After all, we can all learn from each other’s perspectives!