How to Turn Conflict into Creativity: A Simple Guide for Small Business Partners

My wife and I had a really great first year together, with practically no disagreements. But yesterday, I mentioned I wanted to talk about something that was bothering me, and I saw her whole demeanor change. Her smile faded, and she looked really anxious. I could tell she was worried. So, I stopped myself and said, 'Hey, I see you're a little tense. I totally get why, but I promise, this isn't a confrontation. No one's being blamed. Let's try to approach this like we always talk about, with understanding and maybe even a little fun!'"

Reflecting on this personal experience, I realized that the principles I teach in business can also be applied to personal relationships. I write about transforming conflict into innovation, but that requires some intentional work, and this was the best opportunity to start it.

If you are curious about how this discussion turned out, read on! I decided to put this process into a blog post because this is where many people get confused.

How does the conflict start?

Conflict arises naturally when two or more people work or interact together. In small business partnerships, differing opinions, work styles, or visions can lead to disagreements.

The way we handle conflicts stems from our past experiences. in most cases, this is not a pleasant experience. We immediately start to expect a tense argument, maybe raised tones, lack of understanding, frustration, anxiety, being impatient, and cutting into the other while talking, without even listening.

Before the first word is even said, we are already in a stressed reaction mode. Energetically speaking - we dive into level 1 - the victim, or level 2 - anger. If we do not manage to catch this drop in time and snap out of it - the argument is doomed, as not much good will come out of it.

Shifting mindset

This is a critical point, in the process, and without lifting the energy and creating a collaborative atmosphere, the discussion cannot proceed.

As my wife's energy dropped - I dropped the topic itself and instead addressed the situation: "I see your energy dropped," I told her. "I understand why, but let me assure you - this is not an argument. There is no finger-pointing here because no one did anything wrong.

You know how I coach partners about conflict transformation, and we are no exception. Let's make it a fun thing!."

My wife looked at me, a bit surprised and a smile showed up on her face. We chatted a little while about this concept and how it would work before we addressed the topic. That was a game-changer!

Making a small tangent here to a different story that I think you can find related to this topic:

I remembered a funny fact about our dog. We had a thunderstorm the day before, and every time there was thunder, our dog hid away, showing fear. I suggested rewarding and playing with our dog every time there was thunder and giving her a treat instead of comforting her and acknowledging the stress. It wasn't long before our dog came, all excited with every thunder sound, looking for a reward and a treat.

Setting up the rules

So now that we were both in a better mood, I said - let's get an agreement about some basic concepts before we even approach the subject.

• First - it is important to acknowledge that there is no right and wrong, and we have to accept that different people have different perceptions, and they may be different than ours.

• Second - we must assume that everything that we do is done with good intentions. We know that neither one of us is trying to hurt each other. The other way around - we try to help each other.

With this in mind - let's have a fun debate.

See, when we consistently change the experience of addressing a conflict - the fear and resentment will be replaced with excitement for some healthy, productive discussion. When we shift our energetic profile from lower levels (one or two) to level five - a win-win approach, we can expect a great outcome.

Common foundation

The right approach and open discussion are a great start, yet in order to transform conflict into innovation - additional elements are required.

Just imagine two people playing a board game - but each one has its own rules to the game. I am not sure that is going to work so well..

Before approaching any discussion, and really before conducting any business together, we have to set up the rules of the game. In business partnerships (and other relationships) those are in the form of core values, purpose, and common vision. when those are established - differences are at the tactical level, as all parties are aiming toward the same goals, using the same values.

I can't stress enough how important it is to be aligned on values, purpose, and vision. With those in place, and when there is trust and empathy among all partners - that is when conflict resolution becomes conflict transformation, and it is actually a fun and exciting process.

Some extra perks

With the right mindset and a common foundation, you are already geared towards a transforming discussion. In order to further enhance the experience, think about any situational and environmental considerations that can promote the right atmosphere.

• Choose a cozy place, where everyone can feel comfortable.

• If possible - get out of the office to a neutral place

• Provide some snacks and cold drinks

• Provide any aids that can help collaborate, such as a whiteboard. post-it notes, writing pads, etc.

• Chose the right time when there are no urgent tasks or distractions

A cozy brainstorming area ready for innovative ideas.

Embracing Creativity Through Conflict

Transforming conflict into creativity is an ongoing effort that can greatly enrich your small business partnership. Each disagreement holds potential for innovation, just waiting to be harnessed.

By building open communication based on common goals, shared values, and shared purpose - facilitating brainstorming sessions, turning ideas into action, and nurturing a creative environment, you create a framework that welcomes conflict as a growth opportunity.

Welcome conflicts with open arms and a positive mindset, and watch as they shape the future of your business in remarkable ways.