How one violation of core value affects life balance in a tranquil town in Western, TN

I moved into a small town in Western Tennessee just a couple of months ago. It is a small town in the rural area of Tennessee where everyone knows everyone, people are friendly, and everybody supports each other.

Every time I met with anyone in this lovely town, they seemed to have gone out of their way to welcome and support me—a great feeling I had not experienced anywhere else. Life was happy until ...

The Story

Background

The story begins roughly a year ago, when my 27-year marriage unexpectedly came to an end. Along with the emotional upheaval, I faced financial difficulties relying on just one income. I needed to adapt my lifestyle to fit this new situation.

I had a large RV we used to travel around the country, that I tried to sell, but without too much luck. After months of trying to sell it, I had to do something, as the payments were too high, so I ended up trading it in for a much smaller unit.

Since I no longer have the RV, I could trade-in my truck for a much smaller one. Firstly, I didn't require such a large truck, and secondly, the truck payments were more than I could afford.

The incident

Living in a small town, I believed it was a good idea to attempt trading my truck at a local business, giving me an opportunity to support my community. I understood that the dealership was small and the selection of vehicles might be limited, but it was definitely worth trying.

Car dealerships are often viewed negatively, likely for valid reasons. Car salespeople are notorious for pressuring customers to purchase what they want to sell, all while making the buyers feel like they've secured the best deal. In truth, they manipulate customers and sell cars at significant profits. I genuinely hoped that this time would be different in the welcoming small town.

As I approached the dealership, a nice lady welcomed me outside. I told her I wanted to trade in my truck for a smaller one, that should be able to tow my new RV and the payment should not exceed a certain amount. She took my information and connected me with a sales representative who suggested two options to choose from. I told him that the most important factor for me is to get a fair value for my current truck and stated the trade-in value from KBB. He looked up some information and replied - "that sounds reasonable, I can make it happen".

After driving the two used trucks I chose one of them and we went in to craft the deal. The dealership team gathered for some brainstorming and came up with an offer. The suggested trade-in value was $4,000 less than the KBB suggested trade-in. In addition, I noticed that the truck I chose didn't have a tow hitch. I inquired about other options but the sales manager seemed to insist on this specific truck. "I will install one for you", he said. "And what about brake controller?", I asked "I will install that too!" he replied. "I will even give you two remote keys just like you gave us".

A bad gut feeling told me that something is not right. Both the lower trade-in value and insisting on that truck raised some concerns, but I decided to go with it anyway. I told myself - this is a small town, those people will have to face me one way or another, let it go...

When I was presented with the numbers the payment was significantly higher than the one I could afford. At that point, I was ready to call the deal off, but the salesperson said "Let me see what I can do". A typical car dealership manipulation technique. I have been there too many times. After two or three of "Let me talk to the manager and see what I can do" we came out to some compromise that was still higher than my requested price, a stretch for me, but I just wanted to be done with this deal, adjust my cash flow, and get rid of the financial stress and burden I had. So we signed the deal, and I drove home with my 'new-used' compromised truck.

The surprise

I came home and had to validate what I just bought, as something still didn't sit well with me. I looked up the sale price of similar trucks in the area and was surprised to find that all of them were significantly at a much lower price. I mean six to ten thousand dollars cheaper!!

I opened the dealership website, and the truck I just bought was still listed there. The advertised price was $5,000 dollars less!

I got screwed. I was lied to, and I felt horrible.

The verdict

Honestly and transparency are a strong core value for me. I am bluntly honest in everything I do. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I do not fool people around. I can't. it is embedded in me.

As a result, I am gullible and tend to believe that people are good and honest. I believe in people and I know that in some cases, it may get hurt, but that's who I am.

When this trust is violated - I feel horrible. When people fake compassion and empathy, pretend they try and help me, knowing very well they are taking advantage of me - that hurts me in the deepest level.

At that moment, I believed there was no chance of getting my hitch installed, and without it, the truck is useless to me. There's no consumer protection law that lets me reverse this sale, so I'm trapped!

The next morning I decided to drop the truck at the dealership and get it only when the hitch and brake controller are installed. Maybe that will motivate them to do it, if the truck is there.

I stepped in, I wasn't happy. I told them I felt I was misled and asked them to keep the truck until the hitch was installed. I left the keys on the table and started to head out. The financial manager, who set by the table, grabbed the keys and threw them back at me.

I was down to my stressor reaction energy - Level 1 and 2.

Whenever we face a stressful reaction our behavior changes. We tend to react differently and perceive the world in a much dimmer light.

Level 1, the victim level, was present in the form of: 'I am gullible and people take advantage of me'. Level 2 - anger, showed up as: 'I want it fixed now!'

(If you are not familiar with the energy levels, see my blog 'Unlocking Performance through Energy Leadership')

I didn't sleep for three days. I still can't get over it.

It completely shattered my perception of this town's positive atmosphere, making it seem like this dealership doesn't fit in here. I will definitely not return to this dealership, nor will I suggest it to anyone. I hope they rise above the car industry's unethical standards and show honesty and transparency.

Had I known I would lose $9,000 on this transaction ($4,000 from a reduced trade-in value and $5,000 from an increased price), I would never have gone through with it. Now, I'm left with a truck that's financed far above its worth, making it impossible to trade in when my financial situation improves. It's a bitter pill to swallow.

The lesson

Without firm core values, you might secure a good deal but sacrifice your reputation and loyalty. I'm uncertain how well this owner sleeps at night, aware that he could manipulate a client and gain some unethical profit, while the client will suffer financial burden and regret the deal.

It is crucial to be aligned with your core values in life, in business, and in everything you do. Core values serve as the guiding principles that shape our decisions, influence our behavior, and ultimately define who we are as individuals and organizations. They act as a compass, providing direction and clarity, especially during challenging times when it may be easy to lose sight of what truly matters. When you are in harmony with your core values, you experience a sense of fulfillment and purpose, which can significantly enhance both your personal and professional life.

To truly harness the power of your core values, it is essential to get your core values identified and to live by them every day. This process often involves deep self-reflection and introspection, where you take the time to consider what principles are most important to you. Are they integrity, respect, innovation, or perhaps compassion? Once you have identified these values, it is imperative to integrate them into your daily routine. Values are not just a banner on the website; they are the way you conduct your business, the way you treat the people around you, and the way you live harmoniously with yourself, aligned to good morals. Living in accordance with your core values fosters authenticity and builds trust with others, as people are drawn to those who demonstrate consistency between their beliefs and actions.

Moreover, aligning with your core values can have a profound impact on your relationships, both personally and professionally. When you treat others with respect and uphold your values, you create an environment where mutual respect thrives. This not only enhances collaboration and teamwork but also cultivates a culture of accountability and transparency. In a business context, organizations that prioritize their core values often experience higher employee satisfaction and retention rates, as team members feel a sense of belonging and alignment with the company’s mission. Furthermore, customers are increasingly drawn to brands that reflect their own values, making it essential for businesses to embody their principles authentically.

Conclusion

The importance of being aligned with your core values cannot be overstated. It requires ongoing commitment and reflection, but the rewards are immense. By identifying your core values and living by them consistently, you not only enrich your own life but also positively influence those around you. This alignment fosters a sense of integrity, builds strong relationships, and contributes to a more meaningful and impactful existence.